soil

As I sit down to write I discover
that no words could ever describe
the feelings I have embedded in my heart
It’s a special place I figured no one would locate

I’ve been tortured so many times, that it cuts deep
I realize that you have also been burnt
but I never imagined that you or anyone
could ever pierce through the wall that surrounds me

I believed and at times I’m still on guard
Inside I visualized that I was a caterpillar in a cocoon
encircled so incredibly tight for protection from more suffering
I would allow no one too close to me, to feel that pain again

Some how, some way you inched your way into my life
with your love, caring, sharing and being there for me
everything about you turned me into a butterfly
you give me direction when I’m lost, confused and alone

You show me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel
you offer me the power, courage, and desire to want to choose life
instead of just giving up and ending all the grief with suicide
you are my angel, my best friend and most of all my beautiful butterfly
SEG

*Most of the poetry posted on my website was written during my teens and twenties. There are a few exceptions but typically I find myself wanting to journal regularly and write poetry if inspired. Poetry has been my therapist during many trying times. I have decided to post these poems because it reflects my history with suicidal depression and the struggles I encountered trying to cope with life and depression.