autumn

Whenever I’m depressed or anxious
I’ll sometimes take a long walk
which allows me to contemplate my life

Walking in the autumn is I find especially nice
looking at all the different colored leaves
but discovering no comfort for winter will soon arrive

I try breathing in the fresh air
attempting to live for the moment
I could walk forever wishing I could quiet my mind

I long to stroll without a care in the world
but as I roam down the street the issues
race through my head obsessively

I don’t possess the ability to turn off my mind
It’s such a dilemma to me, not being aware
how to solve my problems and deal with my past

Yearning desperately that I could merely
walk it off, but realistically I recognize
the depression, my illness will still be there

There are times when I figure a way to cope
a strategy or solution may occur to me
but never can I just walk it off or disappear
SEG

*Most of the poetry posted on my website was written during my teens and twenties. There are a few exceptions but typically I find myself wanting to journal regularly and write poetry if inspired. Poetry has been my therapist during many trying times. I have decided to post these poems because it reflects my history with suicidal depression and the struggles I encountered trying to cope with life and depression.