afterlife

February 13 2017

crying alone

susangayhart Poetry afterlife, alone, anxiety, apprehensive, clinical depression, crying, death, depressed, depression, depression signals, emotions, grief, help, hope, insight, insomnia, Major Depressive Disorder, mental health, mental illness, myketaminestory, observing, pain, panic attacks, suicidal depression, suicide, suicide prevention, suidical depression, tears, weeping

Alone, tears on my pillow
soaked through to my soul
doesn’t seem to matter much
if someone is lying next to me
I still feel hallow inside

Wetness on a torn piece on paper
index finger outlines emotions within
eyes focus on emptiness, I see nothing at all
it’s the same every day and night
suicide races through my mind

The stopping of my heart
words written on the shred of reality
a life that wishes merely to die
the weeping never seems to end
afterlife to me could be a start

I ponder regularly of death
of closing my wet lashes
and finally cease to exist
where I am no longer apprehensive
I solely hunger for my life to conclude
SEG

*Most of the poetry posted on my website was written during my teens and twenties. There are a few exceptions but typically I find myself wanting to journal regularly and write poetry if inspired. Poetry has been my therapist during many trying times. I have decided to post these poems because it reflects my history with suicidal depression and the struggles I encountered trying to cope with life and depression.