time for thoughts
deception
I hurt the one that I love immensely
I am ashamed of, and very angry too
could it be that my illness caused it?
I did so many actions that I can undo
carried out too many unforgivable things
Can he or I ever forgive myself for my conduct?
the reasons for my deception hurts inside
I devoted myself to man in marriage
why did I break that commitment to him?
was it because I thought he didn’t care?
I believed that he didn’t understand my mental illness
that the love we once shared so deeply
was no longer in existence, plainly dead
did I destroy a relationship I treasured?
morally I let go of what was meaningful to me
I went looking for others for the support and love
how can he ever pardon the affair when I know
that his heart is breaking from half a world away
will our marriage withstand all that I have done
or will it end in a wicked and ugly divorce?
SEG
*Most of the poetry posted on my website was written during my teens and twenties. There are a few exceptions but typically I find myself wanting to journal regularly and write poetry if inspired. Poetry has been my therapist during many trying times. I have decided to post these poems because it reflects my history with suicidal depression and the struggles I encountered trying to cope with life and depression.
friendship
There are so many people that one meets
some we like, others we don’t for various reasons
it could be they misunderstand you
in which case you may be forced to act or pretend
but with an authentic friend
they will be there until the very end
No lies need be spoken, no show to put on
with a true friend anything that is said
will not cause the friendship to diminish
it won’t shatter or be broken
uniquely, it strengthens the bond, permits you to be open
complete honesty with no censorship
They’ll let you speak your mind freely
an individual that accepts everything about you
your success and also your failures
It’s someone you can tell your deepest feelings to
and know that their reply will be real
not just what they think you want to hear
It’s somebody you can call upon any time
during the day or even in the middle of the night
a confidant is truly tough to find
so hold on tight when you discover one
because a genuine friend will listen and truly care about you
they won’t leave you or hurt you when you need them most
SEG
*Most of the poetry posted on my website was written during my teens and twenties. There are a few exceptions but typically I find myself wanting to journal regularly and write poetry if inspired. Poetry has been my therapist during many trying times. I have decided to post these poems because it reflects my history with suicidal depression and the struggles I encountered trying to cope with life and depression.