Poetry – Page 11

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time for thoughts

February 15 2017

under the sea

susangayhart Poetry alive, beauty, blackness, creatures, drowning, emotions, escape, fish, freedom, happy, heart, heartbreak, hope, inside, life, ocean, pondering, positive, sadness, searching

You look into the ocean waters
and what is it you see?
more than a dozen creative fish
swimming by so freely and alive

So much life underneath the sea
It breaks my heart not to be,
to be able to visualize the beauty
only blackness and water drowning me

If I could be allowed to flow
openly with the creature beneath
would I still be sad or could I be happy?
do these fish have emotions, I often ponder

Is life under the sea
really as beautiful as it seems
or is it just another route of escape
that I love to take inside my mind?
SEG

*Most of the poetry posted on my website was written during my teens and twenties. There are a few exceptions but typically I find myself wanting to journal regularly and write poetry if inspired. Poetry has been my therapist during many trying times. I have decided to post these poems because it reflects my history with suicidal depression and the struggles I encountered trying to cope with life and depression.

February 14 2017

gone crazy

susangayhart Poetry acceptance, alone, antidepressants, clinical depression, dying, fear, friendships, gone crazy, grief, haunts, laughing, lonely, longing, mental health, mental illness, myketaminestory, observing, panic attacks, sadness, self aware, suicidal depression, suicide, suicide prevention, suidical depression, treatment resistant depression, unhappy, voices

My heart is dying inside
what does all this mean?
nothing really just reassuring me
no one could truly love me
I’m not worthy of unconditional love

Because you see those that have tried
leave so unhappily most of the time
I often wonder why that is
why can’t people accept who I am?
oh! it must be my personality

no need to cry the tears will never
wash away the pain that’s locked up inside
will it all end in suicide?
are the images I see, are they really laughing at me?
the whispers I hear, they frighten me so

The voices that haunt me
they won’t stop, so I obsess
about what I hear, have I gone crazy?
I’m scared and feel so empty
why do I turned everyone away?
SEG